Title: How Not To Make A Lightbulb
Characters: John/Rodney, Ford, Teyla, Radek, others
Prompt: 10. Fandom cliche
Brief summary: What could be more appropriate for this prompt that stargate fandom's most destinctive cliche, Aliens Made Them Have Sex? This fic is a slight twist on the classic, since John and Rodney did have a relationship before the aliens made them have sex - but they had broken up beforehand. John decides that being with Rodney is too hard, and breaks up with him, but being apart is proving to be more difficult than he expected. Here the aliens act as a catalyst for a confrontation between the two of them, and one of the best declarations of love I've read in awhile.
He made up his mind after the nano-virus, and the timing made John feel like a complete jerk. After the nano-virus, when Rodney almost died again without even leaving the city, John decided to break up with him. The decision was more complicated than that, but that's what it came down to: when he'd thought Rodney was about to die, he'd gone nearly crazy with the need to do something and almost got 30 people killed. What they had couldn't be worth the risk.
None of the women John had ever dated returned his phone-calls. Partially, it was because John tended to live in such inaccessible locations as Antarctica and the Pegasus Galaxy, but for the most part it was because John was actually a complete asshole. While things were going well, he was a perfect gentleman: charming, sweet, funny; but as soon as things went south, he forgot to pull his punches. It was never enough just to end a relationship, he always had to smash it into fragments so small you couldn't tell what they'd been in the first place. If the girl wasn't sobbing hysterically at the end, John felt like he hadn't done it right.
Breaking up with Rodney took six days, because at the most intense point in a fight, at the exact moment where John could yell "well if you feel that way, I think we should break up!" they always ended up having sex. They argued all the time when they were getting along, so actually fighting with Rodney was like getting a dressing-down from his commanding officer in Afghanistan for days on end. John would say something awful, and Rodney would snipe back with something worse, but unlike all the girls John had been with, he was honestly afraid that Rodney was just going to pull back and punch him.
Link to the story: How Not To Make A Lightbulb